i was noticing that, you know, if i were to be honest about it, my sense of myself continues to go up and down. This is happening after decades of doing this and practice. And yet the fluctuations were continuing. Either this kind of collapsing feeling of, oh, my gosh, i failed. Oh, i didn't do a good job. Their book is selling more than mine. You know, i'm aware thewordsoor a, like a worse world ad that like, first first, first world problems. But this was my felt and actual experience.

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