The Power of Saying No: Embracing Boundaries for Personal Freedom

In this episode, CJ sits down with Dr. Julie Gurner, the author behind the Substack Ultra Successful, to explore how top CEOs, CFOs, and entrepreneurs manage their ambition, goals, and self-talk. They examine if being hard on yourself necessary for success and Dr. Gurner shares helpful reframes that can be used to overcome negative self-talk. The conversation delves into the concept of “haunting agitation,” a term she uses to describe the hunger and ambition driving high performers. Building on this, she introduces the idea of empirical guardrails to keep one’s ambition in check. Dr. Gurner also breaks down the difference between “motivated” individuals and those who go “all in,” explaining how full commitment can lead to exponential growth. They touch on the surprising power of seemingly “boring” and discuss what the “build in public” movement gets wrong. Lastly, they talk about the art of saying no to opportunities that, while tempting, may distract you from your core focus. Tune in for expert advice on channeling your drive toward meaningful success.

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FOLLOW US ON X:

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TIMESTAMPS:(00:00) Preview and Intro(02:56) Sponsor - Mercury | NetSuite(05:28) Overcoming Negative Self-Talk(08:51) Reframing Fear as Excitement(13:26) Haunting Agitation(16:59) Sponsor - Maxio | Leapfin | Planful(20:06) Being in Your Business Versus on Your Business(23:58) The Impact of Haunting Agitation on Relationships(26:51) Moving Goal Posts and Setting up Metrics(30:52) Hitting the Goal Versus the Feeling of Forward Momentum(32:09) Alan Greenberg’s PSDs and What That Means(35:15) The Motivated Versus the All-in(41:02) Hangups for Motivated People(43:02) The Sunk Cost Fallacy(45:23) The Worst-Case Scenario Question(48:02) “Protecting Downside” Versus Having a Plan B(49:12) The Rewards of Going All-in(52:02) The Strategic Advantage of Boring(55:48) What the “Build in Public” Movement Gets Wrong(57:13) The Art of Saying No to Good Opportunities(59:28) Overcoming People Pleasing(01:02:03) Wrap