neuroscience shows that we are terrible at these types of conversations that require empathy, emotional self-control when we are shut down. So if you were shut down, don't trudge ahead. Give yourself a moment and it might be the more skilled among us might need 30 seconds to take a deep breath or reorient themselves. If you're new at this, it might be better to take a break and say, you know what, this conversation is really important. Let's take a break, come back to it tomorrow.
People management consists of a fair amount of mediation and diplomacy, and you can’t expect to get the hang of it right away. You’re in the middle of a lot now. Initiating difficult conversations, and then getting all the way through them, takes planning and practice (and sometimes even a breather). Holding tension takes restraint.
Amy B and Kelsey interview Amy G about the types of conflict that new managers should expect to handle, as well as options for responding. They talk through real experiences and common scenarios. Like that time Kelsey needed to tell a direct report they were falling short of her expectations (but didn’t end up saying anything). Or that time Amy G started reporting to a friend. They also give guidance for intervening or not when team members are arguing and for discreetly clueing your group in about the office politics going on.
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