Yearly Variety Recap Intro

🎙️ Get ready for a whole stack of holiday-flavored chaos. We start with the most deranged “ideology in baking” moment imaginable: a decolonized Christmas cookie pitch that tries to rewrite history through masa, honey, and pure self-seriousness. From there, we’re right into the spirit of the season: the stuff that’s supposed to be wholesome, until it isn’t.

🐫 ️Next up, we hit peak pageantry with a live-nativity-adjacent church scene that includes camels walking the aisle—right up until one of them detonates a kick into an unsuspecting face. Then we keep the decorations theme rolling: a car fully wrapped in Christmas lights attempts a heroic pass… and immediately turns into a cautionary tale.

🎄 And because the holidays are nothing without juvenile sabotage, we get the garage-door letter swap that takes “Merry Christmas” somewhere deeply unfit for polite company—followed by our own story time about a neighborhood snow sculpture that gets an anatomical “upgrade.”

⚡Then we flash back to our favorite variety segments from 2025. From men fighting gorillas to umpire nut-shots. Relive the best of 2025 with the fellas. ️

00:00 - Holiday laughs with the fellas and a fresh stack of variety

03:23 - “Decolonized Christmas” cookies

07:03 - Live nativity chaos: camel strolls into church, then the kick lands

10:08 - Christmas car eats it

11:18 - Classic Christmas Variety

18:12 - Vintage Variety: 100 men vs 1 gorilla simulations

22:39 - 10,000 gorillas vs 1,000,000 men and the morale problem

24:39 - Airborne elbow-drop strategy talk for gorilla combat

29:18 - Vintage Variety: Rhode Island prosecutor arrest bodycam

37:40 - The Washington Post tries “Gen Z” sketch comedy

42:49 - New angle on the F-15 backseat ejection footage

44:24 - Padres field-runner kid gets tackled

45:21 - ESPN tries to fix itself

50:33 - Best umpire nut hit in history

54:12 - Wild pigs turn bright blue in California

57:35 - Drunk man drives airport cart through walkway

51:28 - Adults using pacifiers to cope

51:55 - Year-end reflections and variety chaos

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