How to Create a Feeling of Closeness Quickly

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When I asked about your background, for example, right? That was an entry point for you to tell me something about your life or about your music. So that is what I'm doing is saying, like, how can I create a sense of closeness quickly? How do I get, how do I make it comfortable for you to ask me something personal? "I think you're going to give the answer that you feel most culturally appropriate in that moment," he says.

There is an image, especially in Western cultures, of the rugged, authentic, self-made individual choosing how to navigate the intricacies of the social world. But there is no mystical soul within us, manifesting as the immutable essence of self. What we think of as our "self" is shaped by our environment and our genes, and most of all by our interactions with other people. Psychologist Brian Lowery argues for a strong version of this thesis, positing that our sense of self is largely a social construct. We talk about the implications of this idea, and what it means for shifting notions of personal identity.

Post with transcript: https://www.preposterousuniverse.com/podcast/2023/06/12/239-brian-lowery-on-the-social-self/

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Brian Lowery received his Ph.D. in psychology from the University of California Los Angeles. He is currently Walter Kenneth Kilpatrick Professor of Organizational Behavior at Stanford University Graduate School of Business. His new book is Selfless: The Social Creation of "You."

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