The science shows something a little complex about affirmations. How we talk to ourselves matters. One of the ways we can start connecting with our difficult emotions in healthy ways is by asking our child what they need. The five year old says, Oh, I know you're struggling right now in this relationship. But you know what, I need more intimacy and connection. And when you're starting to do that, you are starting to really connect with other parts of yourself that aren't cooked in the difficulty motion.