The Chaser and the Runner: The Pattern that Destroys a Relationship
Jillian on Love
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The Dance of the Distancer and the Pursuitr in Relationships
There is a dance, this game that keeps being danced and played by two people who are skirting around togetherness and closeness. The pursuer will then all of a sudden be like, forget them. I'm going to now pull away because pulling away in the past has gotten the person who has pulled away from me to then come to me. But guess what happens? They switch hats and they switch rolls again. It's two people switching rolls pretty consistently. And as a result, the gap never closes. So it's not so important to focus only on who's the pursuer and who's the distancer. We all have an innate desire and need for closeness while also
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