4min chapter

Finding Mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais cover image

The Art and Science of Building Healthy Relationships | Drs. John and Julie Gottman

Finding Mastery with Dr. Michael Gervais

CHAPTER

The Importance of Self-Soothing in Conflict

Tunnel vision and tunnel hearing is when you feel attacked by your partner. You'd rather be on Pluto than in the room talking to your partner, says psychologist John MacIntosh. Ask for a break - don't think about the fight but do something that's self soothing. This can be reading a book, listening to music or even going for a run. It will help metabolize the stress hormones released in your body so you can calm down again.

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