Ego, pantsing yourself, and influence

The same tactics that con artists use to manipulate you can be used to build trust. Dr. Abbie Maroño explains the psychology of ethical social engineering.

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1255

What We Discuss with Dr. Abbie Maroño:

• Manipulation vs. Influence: It's all about intention. The same psychological tactics can be used for good or evil. The difference? Manipulation disregards harm to others and exploits fear, while influence builds mutual benefit and makes people want to collaborate with you. Con artists use manipulation because it's faster — but ethical influence wins every time over the long term.
• Scammers weaponize your emotions to bypass critical thinking. When emotions are activated, your prefrontal cortex — the brain's logic center — gets overridden. That's why con artists use artificial urgency ("only 24 hours left!") and exclusivity ("just for you"). They only need to appear trustworthy, not actually be it, because you'll act before you can verify.
• Shame is the silent weapon that keeps victims quiet. The reason so many scam victims never report what happened isn't denial, it's embarrassment. Shame becomes its own prison, preventing people from seeking help or warning others. This silence protects predators and perpetuates cycles of exploitation.
• Short-term thinking is the con artist's best friend. Manipulators prey on our psychological bias toward immediate rewards. Getting $100 now feels more valuable than $150 later — even when it isn't. This "survival mode" mentality keeps people chasing quick wins rather than building something sustainable.
• To protect yourself, remember that other people's emotions usually have nothing to do with you. When someone pushes your buttons or creates pressure, pause and recognize it for what it is: a tactic, not a personal attack. Shelving your emotional reaction keeps your critical thinking intact — and that's your best defense against manipulation and your greatest asset in any negotiation.
• And much more...

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