Insights into embracing conflict, staying mindful, battling internal doubt, and communicating effectively from motivational speaker and co-founder of The Constance Group Brian Parsley.
Key Takeaways
Conflict Isn’t the Enemy: Whether it’s internal (“me-me”) or between you and others, conflict can be a catalyst for growth if handled with empathy and awareness.
Self-Awareness Is Critical: Recognize when you’re slipping into negative self-talk or procrastination. Do one uncomfortable thing on purpose to regain momentum.
Mindfulness Works: A short pause before responding can prevent knee-jerk reactions and help you focus on problem-solving instead of point-scoring.
Communication Styles Differ: Tailor your approach to the other person’s style, and clarify misunderstandings by asking what they actually heard.
Find a Coach or Mentor: Don’t underestimate the value of someone else’s perspective. A coach sees the “swing flaws” in your sales approach that you might never notice on your own.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2049xdXQ5Ac
Why Conflict Is Everywhere in Sales
Sales is an inherently conflict-laden profession. You’re asking people for time and resources, you’re persuading them to make decisions, and you’re often balancing multiple interests—your client’s, your company’s, and your own. The tension stems from:
-- Negotiations with buyers who might have competing priorities.
-- Internal pressures from bosses or teammates who expect certain results.
-- Personal conflicts within yourself — especially if you’re unsure of your own capabilities.
The Three Types of Conflict
Conflict can be broken down into three categories:
Me vs. You Conflict – Disagreements between individuals (customers, peers, bosses).
Me vs. Job Conflict – Situations where your personal values clash with your job role or tasks.
Me vs. Me Conflict – Internal struggles, such as procrastination or fear of failure.
The“me vs. me” conflict might be the most insidious, because it can sabotage your motivation, self-esteem, and willingness to accept feedback.
The “Me-Me” Conflict: Your Biggest Obstacle
Many sales professionals fail because they lose the internal battle with themselves in “me-me” conflict. They know they should spend an extra hour prospecting, turn off the TV a little earlier for a fresh start the next morning, or follow up diligently with new leads. Yet, fear of failure or simple inertia holds them back.
How “Me-Me” Conflict Snowballs
Letting small tasks slip—like hitting the snooze button or blowing off a follow-up call—quickly turns into a domino effect:
You skip a small task or ignore a responsibility.
Guilt or anxiety sets in, making you more emotionally reactive.
This emotional reaction, often anger or irritability, spills over into other areas of your life—leading to more conflict, and sometimes even lower productivity.
Overcoming Internal Doubts Through Awareness
The ultimate tool to combat negative self-talk and “me-me” conflict is awareness. Here’s a simple yet powerful strategy: do something uncomfortable on purpose, like making a difficult prospecting call. By choosing the harder path in small, manageable increments, you train your brain to seek out the dopamine rush of achieving a win. Each small success can become addictive—in the best way—helping you build the self-confidence to tackle bigger challenges.
Practical Tip:
When you notice you’re about to avoid something important—like a call block—stop and say, “This is hard, but I’m doing it anyway.” That small statement of intent can be enough to reset your mindset for action.
Why Self-Talk Shapes Your Sales Results
In sales, negative self-talk is especially damaging because of the constant rejection and fast-paced environment. One bad day can lead to a downward spiral:
-- One lost deal leads to “I’m not good enough.”
-- One tough call leads to “They’ll never buy from me.”
