The Importance of Constricted Awareness in Relationships

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Alexander: When people are trying to empathize or care it is grabby in a different way. I no longer had to resist the feeling of disappointment because it wasn't mine to feel and so as long as I was in a relationship where I was resisting a particular feeling then that was causing these tangles. He says if he could be allowing that feeling to happen in someone else that probably would have also solved the problemYeah yeah but in this case it's just a very easy way of not being in that relationshipWhere I'm resisting a feeling trying to not allow certain things also makes it more difficult right like sometimes when you're you're accounting for other people's experience but you're like I

Tee has a spirited chat with Lulie Tanett, an independent researcher, Twitter celeb and teacher trainee of the Alexander Technique.

We follow the narrative arc of Lulie’s own self-development journey, somewhat intentionally falling into rabbit holes of all varieties, including:

(12:35) The Taking Children Seriously (TCS) parenting movement and educational philosophy – “My first words were ‘that’s coercive!’”
(29:50) Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing “changed her life forever” and is the “foundation of all inner work.”
(33:10) The surprising (to us) usefulness of the Enneagram – blindspot prediction, character construction, and healthy & degenerative expressions
(47:25) Enheartened philosophical exploration and debate versus ‘grabby’ intellectualism
(1:00:45) The Alexander Technique and VIEW (Vulnerability, Impartiality, Empathy, Wonder)

Spicier parts of the episode include spotting hallmarks of the pretense of vulnerability often found within Authentic Relating circles (1:19:52), Tee’s pushback of Alexander Technique-isms (1:18:30), skepticisms about emphasizing a single type of personal development tradition (1:39:28), Lulie disabuses Tee of his bias against ‘mindsets’ (1:41:00)and what Lulie would now say to the previous “floating brain” version of herself regarding bodily processing and energy (2:02:44).