mat collins: I love tat notion of curiosity and interest in what the person is saying. Weve, we've done a lot of talking on this podcast about seeing opportunities and offers in other people's actions relative to us. The feedback isn't for it's an offer to help us be better, to help us grow, perhaps change in a direction we hadn't thought of. And the notion of agency strikes me as being so important. i often think of when i talk to my kids, that i want to, when giving them feedback, give them a sense that they have some control in the situation.
Being a better listener has a lot to do with silence, says Collins Dobbs, a lecturer in management at Stanford Graduate School of Business. “A lot of people are uncomfortable with the smallest modicum of silence, but learning often happens when we create distance for useful reflection.”
In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Dobbs talks with host Matt Abrahams about the importance of “space, pace, and grace” when you’re receiving others’ feedback and handling the emotions that come out during tough discussions.
“There’s often a lot more focus on the skill set on delivering emotion than receiving emotion, but if the receiver of emotion can put themselves in a place of curiosity, agency, and openness. . . . opens up a whole new world of possibilities.”
Dobbs is an executive coach and teaches several courses, including Interpersonal Dynamics, and Leadership Labs.
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