Raising Children: Media That Normalizes Difference

Here's a puzzle that will stop you cold: ADHD has exploded into public consciousness. More diagnoses than ever. More research. More conversations. And yet? Turn on your television. What stares back at you?

The class clown. The scatterbrained sidekick. The walking punchline.

Something doesn't add up.

This disconnect—between lived reality and screen reality—forms the heart of this week’s conversation with Matthew Fox, whose passion for dissecting genre media runs as deep as their own neurodivergent experience. Fox hosts Superhero Ethics and other podcasts that examine the ethics woven through our most beloved stories. But today, they’re hunting bigger game.

Consider this: Maria von Trapp. "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" Sound familiar? Fox argues she's ADHD incarnate. Flighty. Unpredictable. Out of focus. The nuns can't pin her down. Neither can we, apparently. Because nobody—not once—uses the words.

That's the pattern. Characters burst with hyperactivity, impulsivity, attention challenges. Dennis the Menace in the '50s. Tigger bouncing through the Hundred Acre Wood. Calvin racing after imaginary adventures. All ADHD-coded. None explicitly labeled.

Why does this matter? Because children search desperately for themselves in stories. Adults do too, though less consciously. When representation gets frozen in stereotype—or worse, buried in subtext—it shapes how teachers see students, how employers evaluate talent, how we see ourselves.

The conversation zigzags through terrain both familiar and startling. Percy Jackson, where ADHD becomes a god-given power. Phil Dunphy, the endearing but scattered dad. Jake Peralta solving crimes through controlled chaos. Then the darker territory: Barney Stinson using ADHD as an excuse for predatory behavior.

But here's where it gets interesting. Fox points out a part of the conversation that is too often forgotten: the gender patterns. Hyperactive male character? Meet his organized, grounding female partner. It's everywhere once you see it. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Modern Family. New Girl. The narrative is always the same—love of a steady woman tames the chaotic man.

And buried within all of this lies a more uncomfortable truth. In our hunger to see ourselves on screen, we claim characters who were never intended as representation. We read ADHD into Kirk and Spock, into Hiccup and his dragon, into anyone who shows even a glimmer of recognition.

Is that enough? Should it be?

Whether you're searching for positive examples for your children or trying to untangle how decades of media have shaped your own relationship with neurodivergence, this conversation might just shift how you watch ... everything.

Links & Notes

Shows and Movies

• Modern Family - Phil Dunphy as ADHD-coded character
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Jake Peralta as positive ADHD representation
• How I Met Your Mother - Barney Stinson as problematic ADHD portrayal
• New Girl - Nick and Jess relationship dynamic
• The Simpsons - Bart Simpson and Ritalin episode (2000)
• Community - Abed Nadir as autism-coded character
• Parenthood (TV series) - Autism representation
• Arrow - Felicity Smoak as ADHD-coded character
• K-pop Demon Hunter - Zoe as positive ADHD representation
• The Sound of Music - Maria von Trapp as ADHD-coded
• Finding Nemo/Finding Dory - Dory as ADHD representation
• How to Train Your Dragon - Hiccup as ADHD-coded

Books and Characters

• Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan - ADHD as demigod trait
• Calvin and Hobbes - Calvin as ADHD-coded
• Dennis the Menace - Classic hyperactive representation
• Winnie the Pooh characters as neurodivergent representation

Podcasts by Matthew Fox

• The Ethical Panda
• Superhero Ethics
• Star Wars Generations
• Marvel Movie Minute (co-hosted with Pete Wright)
• The Once and Future Parent(Coming soon!)

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:22) - Support the Show and Become a Patron!
• (01:58) - The ADHD Representation Paradox
• (02:48) - Introducing Matthew Fox