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Contempt: an extended conversation with John Gottman

The Arthur Brooks Show

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The Importance of Listening to Other People

When people are arguing with each other about politics and policy, they're talking about sort of the what of politics. You want them to dig into the why of the values behind the political positions that you hold. And so doing almost inevitably you're going to find that they agree on more than they thought. That open heart is really the key thing. Because people who have a closed mind and a closed heart are really in it's as if they were in prison. They can't get outside the bars of their own point of view and see the world from somebody else's point of view. They're prisoners. Therereally are no devils here. They're only the angels of our better nature.

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