Turning off desire in Christian college

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Evangelical shame, a sexless marriage, and kinky polyamory—Axe shares how discovering chastity, power exchange, and explicit consent helped him finally feel at home in his desire.

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📈 STATS | 31 straight cis male, switch, librarian, from the US south, into: kink, polyamory, masculinity, connection

⏰ TIME CODE

00:00 His sexless four-year marriage

04:06 Condoms, safer sex, and learning how his body responds

07:11 Growing up with abstinence-only education and evangelical guilt

10:10 Discovering porn, masturbation, and early anal play

15:04 Turning off desire in Christian college and finding religion again on his own terms

19:12 Marriage without chemistry, erectile struggles, and medical answers

22:42 Why explicit verbal consent is necessary for his arousal

27:17 Losing his virginity at 30 and his first grateful, joyful hookup

30:18 Serial dating, “shoulds”, and realizing why monogamy didn’t work for him

33:00 Wanting kids, exploring mid-century masculinity, and reimagining family through polyamory

35:25 Building a kinky, poly book collection at the public library

37:23 Poly saturation, multiple partners, and finding balance

39:17 Sexless marriage support groups and why everyone deserves great sex

42:32 Restraints, ball gags, collars, and exploring dominance

44:08 Chastity cages, control, and denial fantasies

49:07 Strap-ons, anal play, and loving power exchange

52:19 Threesomes, group sex fears, and learning how to receive pleasure

58:32 His hopes for a future full of connection, kink, and awesome sex

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