Awkwardness of being the focus and how to stay present

Let’s talk about oral.

We’ve all had those moments where oral feels way more awkward than arousing. You’re lying there, overthinking everything: Do I smell weird? What do I do with my hands? Is my partner secretly counting down the seconds until it’s over?

Sound familiar? Yeah… you’re definitely not alone.

In this episode, we’re getting into the real, raw, and sometimes ridiculous reasons people struggle to fully relax and enjoy oral. We asked our community to spill their biggest insecurities, and let’s just say… you all delivered. From “I can’t stay present” to “I feel bad making him do it when I haven’t shaved,” nothing’s off-limits today.

We’ll break down what’s actually going on behind those thoughts, and share practical, shame-free ways to feel more confident, connected, and turned on.

💋 Here’s what we’re diving into:

• The top 3 reasons people can’t relax during oral (and how to fix them).

• Why it’s okay if you don’t orgasm every time — seriously.

• How to ask for what you like without killing the vibe.

• What to do when your brain won’t stop screaming, “am I doing this right?!”

• And a few of our favorite “oral attitude adjustments.”

Part real talk, part sex-ed, and part pep talk from your favorite couple who’s been there, done that… and yes, talked about it on a podcast. If you’ve ever been stuck in your head, overthinking, or trying to do it “right”… listen in… because you deserve oral to feel good. Like really good. 😘

🔥 Wanna take this week’s episode to the next level?

Then it’s time to join The Ultimate Foreplay Experience. Our brand-new 4-week challenge that turns the Ultimate Foreplay Guides into a spicy, step-by-step adventure.

Each week, you’ll tackle a new theme — fingering, hand jobs, oral, and blow jobs — with flirty assignments, trackable checklists, and a “Heat Map” to rate your favorite moves.

It’s everything you need to turn “eh, same old routine” into “holy sht, that was incredible.”*

Get in on the challenge by grabbing the Ultimate Foreplay Guides before October 23rd → https://vmtherapy.com/foreplay

🎧 Stay connected

📸 Follow us on Instagram → https://instagram.com/vanessaandxander

💌 Get our weekly email — full of behind-the-scenes stories, expert tips, and way too many sex puns → http://vmtherapy.com/subscribe

🎧 Subscribe to Pillow Talks wherever you listen to podcasts!

==========================

THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS

==========================

👏Thanks Audible Romance. Your first great love story is free when you sign up for a free 30-day trial ➡︎https://Audible.com/pillow

👏Thanks HungryRoot. For a limited time, use code PILLOW to get 40% off your first box PLUS get a free item in every box for life. ➡︎http://hungryroot.com/pillow

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices