183: The Real Reason You Compare Yourself (and How to Heal It)
The Best of You
Comparison Is Wired Into Us (Social Calibration)
Alison outlines social comparison theory and how calibration helps us find belonging and social norms.
It can happen so fast - you feel grateful one moment, and five minutes on Instagram later you’re suddenly feeling small or behind. But what if comparison isn’t the problem itself, but a messenger?
Dr. Alison explores how comparison, when we pause to listen, can actually reveal our deepest longings and lead us back to connection with God, with others, and with ourselves. She explains why comparison is wired into us, what it’s trying to show us, and how to shift from competition to curiosity and compassion.
This conversation invites you to slow down, notice what stirs inside you when comparison shows up, and remember: your story is unfolding at its own sacred pace.
In this episode, we cover:
- Why comparison isn’t always toxic, and what it’s really telling you
- How to move from calibration to condemnation (and back again)
- The two types of comparison
- A simple three-step practice to use when you find yourself comparing
📥 Grab your 3 free Boundaries For Your Soul resources here
📥 Download Alison’s free printable with the five boundary tools when you sign up for her weekly email.
Other episodes you might like :
Episode 37: The Problem with Toxic Thinking
Episode 140: If You Struggle with Guilt and Second-Guessing Yourself, This Will Set You Free
📖 Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here
💬 Got a question? Call 307-429-2525 and leave a message for a future episode.
Thanks to our Sponsors!
- This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/BESTOFYOU and get on your way to being your best self.
- Black Friday has come early at Cozy Earth! Use my code BESTOFYOU at cozyearth.com to get up to 40% off.
- If you’re looking for a Bible that helps you live the Word, not just read it, then grab this beautiful one I’m currently using at NIVapplicationbible.com.
- Go to Quince.com/bestofyou for 365-day returns, plus free shipping on your order!
*Some of the links above are Amazon affiliate links. If you choose to purchase through them, I may earn a small commission at no extra cost to you.
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
© 2025 Alison Cook. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. Please do not copy or share the contents of this webpage or transcript without permission from the author.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
The AI-powered Podcast Player
