How Do You Know When You're Awakening in the Moment?

I've become aware of the ways that some of my earlier mysticism led me into an era of spirituality bypass. And so when I'm in the airport and I miss my wife, I'm afraid of what people think about me because I have a podcast now. How do you know when you're waking up in the moment and truly waking up versus waking up and just avoiding things you actually need to deal with? Yeah. We have this documented thing in psychology where unity of consciousness becomes a mechanism for avoiding emotional work. That has pretty positive mental health outcomes in the year, year's time measurement month, certainly years ish but negative mental health outcomes over decades.