When you've been with someone for a decade, you can have this kind of resigned chip on your shoulder that's really awful when you think about it. But what Vanessa is saying is that when it is weird and awkward and you're embarrassed with your partner, that is proof that it is working. So we did a whole podcast episode where we made ourselves like any pigs and we tried out all the weirdest TikTok sex tips that we've seen floating around. And so one example was I licked Sandra's armpit. It felt very strange, felt very awkward, and he liked it. We don't think of our partners as living, evolving things. We don’t

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