The pressure that women feel to be people pleases is very real and it comes from a lot of historical norms around female behaviour. Women are conditioned really early to be caregivers and more generous with their time and energy because of their you know expectant future role as mothers. People pleasing behaviours often lead to people taking advantage of you which is why our 20s are such a formative year for setting those boundaries and putting ourselves first. Putting your own needs first isn't quite healthy but it's also important to honor and tend to our own needs. Practice kindness when you mean it. It doesn't come from a desire to earn approval and it generally doesn't involve any motive beyond wanting to make things