If you want insight on how to make love last, you might ask friends, family, a therapist, or a pastor for advice. You probably wouldn't think to turn to a divorce lawyer. But my guest, James Sexton, who does that very job in New York City, says there may be few people who have a better perspective on how to hold a marriage together, than the guy who's got a front row seat to how they fall apart.

James is the author of If You're in My Office, It's Already Too Late: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together, and today on the show he shares what he's learned from overseeing over a thousand divorces that you can use to reverse engineer a relationship that lasts. We discuss the five types of infidelity James sees in his practice and the approach to marriage that will prevent affairs. We then get into common sources of conflict in a marriage, including sex, finances, and kids, and how to address these issues so you never end up in James', or any other divorce lawyer's, office.

Resources Related to the Podcast

• AoMPodcast #550: How to Strengthen Your Marriage Against Divorce
• AoM Article: Why the Secret of a Happy, Successful Marriage Is Treating It Like a Bank Account
• AoM Podcast #850: The Infidelity Formula
• AoM Article: A Resolution for Romance — The 52 Love Notes Challenge
• AoM Article: How and Why to Hold a Weekly Marriage Meeting
• C.S. Lewis quote on the "dance" in relationships from That Hideous Strength

Connect With James Sexton

• James on IG
• James' firm