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Imaginary Friends and Inner Dialogue
This chapter explores the significance of imaginary friends in childhood as a foundation for inner dialogue and resilience. It examines the relationship between self-talk and emotional regulation, highlighting its commonality among individuals and its impact on personal struggles.
In this episode, my guest is Dr. Ethan Kross, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Michigan, director of the Emotion & Self-Control Laboratory, and author of the bestselling book Chatter. We discuss the purpose of the inner voice in your head and its impact on emotional well-being and motivation.
We also explore practical tools to manage negative internal chatter and eliminate intrusive thoughts. Topics include how music, exercise, mental distancing techniques, and expressive writing can help rescript your inner dialogue to be self-encouraging and effective in creating outward behavioral changes. Dr. Kross explains why venting to others is self-defeating and offers better alternatives. Throughout the episode, he provides research-supported, actionable protocols to help you shift your internal dialogue and accompanying emotional state, fostering greater happiness and resilience.
Access the full show notes for this episode at hubermanlab.com.
Pre-order Andrew's new book, Protocols: protocolsbook.com
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00:00:00 Dr. Ethan Kross
00:02:45 Sponsors: ExpressVPN & Eight Sleep
00:05:38 Inner Voice & Benefits
00:10:33 Music & Emotions
00:15:09 Shifting Emotions, Emotional Congruency, Facial Expressions
00:20:25 Resistance to Shifting Emotion; Tool: Invisible Support, Affectionate Touch
00:27:16 Tool: Expressive Writing; Sensory Shifters
00:30:41 Sponsors: AG1 & Joovv
00:33:27 Inner Voice Benefits, Thinking vs. Writing, Tool: Journaling
00:44:01 Decision Making, Individualization; Tool: Exercise
00:50:24 “Chatter,” Trauma, Depression, Anxiety
00:54:37 Sponsor: Function
00:56:25 Tool: Combating Chatter, Mental Distancing; Distraction & Social Media
01:04:30 Tools: 2 AM Chatter Strategy, Mental Time Travel; Venting
01:13:41 Time, Chatter & Flow
01:18:01 Focusing on Present, Mental Time Travel
01:22:49 Texting, Social Media, Sharing Emotions
01:28:31 AI & Individualized Tools for Emotional Regulation
01:33:07 Imaginary Friend, Developing Inner Voice; Negative Emotions
01:40:20 Tool: Nature & Cognitive Restoration; Awe; Screens, Modifying Spaces
01:49:34 Cities vs. Nature, Organizing Space & Compensatory Control
01:56:00 Emotional Regulation & Shifters, Screens
02:01:19 Historical Approaches to Manage Emotions; Motivation & Mental Tools
02:10:12 Mechanical & Behavioral Interventions, Emotional Regulation
02:15:52 Tool: Stop Intrusive Voices; Anxiety
02:21:55 Assessing Risk & Consequence; Flow & Cognitive Engagement
02:31:02 “Cognitive Velocity”; Resetting
02:36:43 Transition States, Tool: Goal Pursuit & WOOP
02:43:59 Attention, Emotional Flexibility; Avoidance
02:54:15 Emotional Contagion
03:00:22 Validating Emotions, Wisdom; Shift Book
03:06:59 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter
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