How Shame Shapes Boys and Early Normal Boyhood Trauma

In this episode of The Sacred Speaks, host Dr. John W. Price sits down with pioneering therapist and author Terry Real, whose decades of work have redefined how we understand men, relationships, and emotional life. Nearly thirty years after the release of his groundbreaking book I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression, Terry reflects on the evolution of men’s inner worlds, the cultural forces that still shape them, and the courageous work required to heal. This conversation moves between the personal and the collective—between the suffering of individual men and the systems that taught them to suffer silently. Together, John and Terry explore how patriarchy has halved both men and women, severing men from their emotional lives, and how healing requires a return to connection, empathy, and embodied relational practice. Through heartfelt stories, clinical insight, and grounded wisdom, Terry calls us toward a new model of masculinity—one rooted not in dominance or disconnection but in courage, accountability, and love. This episode is an invitation to anyone longing to understand the hidden pain of men and the pathways toward relational wholeness. Key Themes -Male depression as a covert epidemic—often masked by addiction, anger, or withdrawal rather than sadness. -How patriarchy teaches men to fear vulnerability and equate worth with production, control, and performance. -The intergenerational inheritance of silence and shame between fathers and sons. -Why true intimacy depends on empathy, humility, and repair—not dominance or emotional avoidance. -The call for a new relational culture that honors interdependence and shared healing. Time Stamps 00:00 – Introduction & framing the conversation 03:00 – Revisiting I Don’t Want to Talk About It nearly 30 years later 06:30 – How patriarchy harms men and the women who love them 10:45 – Understanding covert male depression 16:20 – The producer model: when net worth becomes self-worth 22:10 – Loneliness and the erosion of male friendship 29:40 – Family systems, shame, and the father wound 37:15 – Relational Life Therapy: a model for repair 44:00 – Vulnerability as strength 50:30 – Healing through accountability and compassion 58:00 – The future of masculinity and relational wholeness Connect with Terry Real Explore Terry’s courses and trainings in Relational Life Therapy (RLT) for both professionals and general audiences: 🌐 terryreal.com 🌐 relationallife.com Connect with Dr. John W. Price Website: https://drjohnwprice.com Podcast: https://thesacredspeaks.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drjohnwprice/ If this conversation resonates, please like, share, and subscribe to The Sacred Speaks to support these ongoing dialogues at the crossroads of psyche, soul, and the sacred.