I'm curious how has your self changed in doing the work that you've done. It seems to me that by your definition of self it must have changed. I think we often don't really pay enough attention to the ways we change and maybe we're harder on ourselves than we should be. There's a degree of compassion I've learned in writing this book when people's Identities are both challenged their sense of self is challenged and or it shifts or grows. You start by Expressing curiosity at a slightly deeper level and then reciprocate but when you get a response the final question is "How do you feel about yourself now?"
“The self is incompatible with freedom, the way most people understand it, because the self is a constraint,” says social psychologist and professor of organizational behavior Brian Lowery. “The ‘you’ you’re talking about is actually the relationships you have, the social interactions you have and the cultural context you exist in."
In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lowery sits down with podcast host and lecturer in strategic communications Matt Abrahams to talk about his new book, Selfless: The Social Creation of You. Lowery argues that there is no essential “self” — our selves are creations of those we interact with — exploring what that means for who we can be and who we allow others to be. He also shares research on how asking deeply personal questions can be a tool for deepening relationships.
Brian Lowery is the co-director of the Stanford Institute on Race and the host of the podcast, Know What You See.
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