Long-Distance Toxicity & Insecurity

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Episode Description

Jordana Abraham and Jared Freed from the U Up? podcast join Dr. Emily for a lively conversation about navigating modern dating without losing your mind. They kick things off with dating horror stories—including Jared's epic backwards fall off a patio chair that took out a sandwich board and a heat lamp.

The conversation dives into why so many dates feel like obligations instead of opportunities. Jared and Jordana explain the "sure, I'll go" trap—how settling for matches that are just "fine" leads to boring dates and dating burnout. They emphasize trusting your gut and only going on dates when you're genuinely excited, not just because you feel like you should.

They tackle dating app fatigue, discussing why some people thrive on apps while others find them soul-crushing. The key insight: it's about how you use them. Treating apps like a binge-worthy Netflix show instead of something you check in on intentionally (like one hour a week) kills the fun and makes everything feel transactional.

The episode includes a listener question about a toxic long-distance relationship where a 22-year-old woman keeps breaking up and getting back together with an insecure boyfriend who constantly asks "are you still into me?" Jared and Jordana break down why this is a mismatch built on drama rather than trust, why her friends are right to be concerned, and how to choose which friends to actually listen to when it comes to relationship advice.

They wrap with quickfire questions about turn-ons, turn-offs, what makes good sex, and the number one thing everyone should know: just because the sex is good doesn't mean the relationship is good.

Timestamps:

0:00 - Intro

4:32 - Why "Sure, I'll Go" is Ruining Your Dating Life

10:09 - Dating App Profile Tips That Actually Work

12:43 - The Truth About Casual Sex on Dating Apps

18:13 - Are You Too Picky or Protecting Your Peace?

20:15 - The Ick Factor: When Small Things End Relationships

24:24 - Friend Zone Reality Check: When They're Not Into You

30:20 - Age Gap Sex Anxiety: Why He's Holding Back

33:24 - Toxic Long-Distance Relationship Red Flags

37:40 - Five Quickies: Turn-Ons, Turn-Offs & Sex Advice