Why people-pleasing starts

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"I had this for decades, my friend. I know how this feels... if you felt like you've been giving and giving and giving, and you feel like you're getting taken advantage of. That's how I felt most of my life." - Lewis Howes

Lewis gets raw about something most successful people won't admit: he spent decades as a people-pleaser. Not just a few years, but most of his life saying YES when he wanted to say NO, overextending himself to be liked, to be loved, to feel like he mattered. He built his entire business that way at first, saying yes to everyone for years because he had nothing—no career, no money, no network. But then the pattern continued long after it stopped serving him. He kept fracturing himself psychologically, emotionally, physically by living out of alignment with who he really was. The person everyone could count on wasn't the real Lewis—it was the version weakened by the desperate need for approval.

What changed everything was understanding that self-respect has to come first, before anyone else can truly respect you. Lewis walks through exactly how to start taking your power back, even when it terrifies you. He's honest about what happens when you finally start saying NO—some people will manipulate you, guilt trip you, tell you that you've changed and you're not the friend they could count on. And he'll tell you not to buy into it. Because when you're constantly discounting yourself for others, you're living a lie. You're killing the strongest version of yourself to keep feeding the weakest. This isn't about becoming cold or selfish. It's about learning to communicate boundaries with kindness while refusing to sacrifice your energy and integrity. Lewis knows the fear in your stomach when you think about saying no to someone. He's lived it. But he also knows the monumental shift that happens when you finally own your NO and step into the power you've been giving away.

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