i didn't see that level of you but your ability to hold space for people's total freedom and chaos. And i was doing it at fightand sogod. So there was this exchange that felt really good for me and am. But the guilt and shame that came on the other end of knowing that i was harming myself, or even being on purpose on a soul ve is so important. Do you think that there's something erotic about harming yourself? There seems to be an eroticism about the desecration of self,. Like as the divine ones, there's a erotic energy about destroying the flower of our consciousness, of ourself.
One of my best podcasts of all time, this emotional conversation that’s been 16 years in the making, is with my wife Vylana Marcus and former fiance / best friend Caitlyn Howe. We sit down with a bottle of whiskey and let it all out. We each take turns sharing our darkest hours and deepest shadows, with a lot of tears and a lot of laughs. We discuss my devastating 6 days in a darkness retreat, my ongoing relationship with self-love, the impetus of my name change from Chris to Aubrey Marcus, and the erotic aspect of harming oneself, to name a few themes. But perhaps most powerfully, Vylana and Caitlyn share their own shocking and emotional challenges in their relationship to the masculine.