Divorce Lawyer James Sexton: #1 Conversation Every Couple Should Have Before it’s Too Late (Use THIS 3-Step Script TODAY!)
On Purpose with Jay Shetty
How to speak about unmet needs productively
They demonstrate reframing complaints into vulnerability to reduce defensiveness and deepen connection.
What do you need from a partner that you haven’t been getting?
How can someone show up for you in a way that meets that need?
Today, Jay sits down with renowned divorce attorney and author James Sexton for a conversation that redefines what it means to love and be loved. With over twenty-five years spent guiding couples through heartbreak and separation, James has witnessed both the beauty and the brutality of human connection. Together, he and Jay explore the paradox of marriage: how something that begins with so much hope can unravel through silence, misunderstanding, and unmet needs. James shares that the greatest threat to relationships isn’t cheating or money, it’s disconnection: the slow fading of curiosity, gratitude, and presence that turns partners into strangers.
Jay and James invite listeners to look past the fairytale version of romance and into the real work of partnership. They talk about how we’re taught to plan weddings rather than marriages, and why the most meaningful moments come from small, steady acts of care, not grand romantic gestures. Whether it’s remembering to replace a partner’s favorite granola or reaching for their hand without being asked, James shows that a strong marriage isn’t about avoiding conflict, but about staying close even in the uncomfortable moments. He reminds us that love isn't for the faint of heart. It’s an act of courage, one that asks for honesty, vulnerability, and the discipline to keep showing up, especially when it’s hardest.
The conversation becomes less about divorce and more about what love is really made of. Jay and James uncover how relationships can serve as mirrors, revealing our insecurities, our longing to be seen, and our deepest fears of unworthiness. They remind us that to truly love another person, we must also learn to love ourselves, flaws, imperfections, and all.
In this interview, you'll learn:
How to Stay Connected in Love
How to Keep the Spark Alive in Marriage
How to Recognize When Disconnection Begins
How to Argue Without Breaking the Bond
How to Rebuild Trust After Betrayal
How to Talk About Difficult Topics with Compassion
How to Choose Courage Over Comfort in Relationships
Whether you’re married, single, healing, or starting over, this episode is a masterclass in emotional intelligence, offering timeless wisdom on how to nurture connection, protect what matters, and find courage in the vulnerability that love demands.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
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What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
00:29 The Real Reasons Marriages Fall Apart
02:39 Why Do We Still Get Married?
04:40 The Truth About the Wedding Industry
08:54 What Divorce Really Looks Like
13:16 The Hard Conversations Bring You Closer
15:44 What is the True Cause of Divorce?
22:48 The Power of Small Gestures in Love
28:52 Simple Ways to Appreciate Your Partner
32:09 How We Repeat Our Parents’ Patterns
38:41 Navigating Love After Having a Child
42:55 How to Reconnect with What Brought You Together
46:17 Why Does Asking For Love Feel Needy?
50:10 Designing the Ideal Contract for Modern Love
57:55 Understanding the Connection Between Desire and Disconnection
01:01:13 Commitment vs. Passion
01:07:07 How to Begin the Conversations You’ve Been Avoiding
01:11:47 The Lies We Tell Ourselves in Love
01:16:05 Should You Get a Prenup?
01:22:26 How to Bring Up The Prenup
01:29:45 Talk Through Your Anger, Don’t Act On It
01:31:18 Using Love As a Weapon
01:36:17 Should You Fight for It or Let Go?
01:42:59 How Parental Conflict Affects Children
01:48:59 Be the Calm Your Child Needs
01:59:09 The Real Problems Marriage Can’t Solve
02:02:52 Who Files For Divorce More: Men or Women?
02:07:46 How Divorce Impacts Men and Women Differently
02:13:39 James on Final Five
Episode Resources:
James Sexton | Website
James Sexton | Instagram
James Sexton | TikTok
James Sexton | LinkedIn
James Sexton | X
How to Stay in Love: A Divorce Lawyer's Guide to Staying Together
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