How to Establish Safety in Relationships

Fast processes are impulsive, primitive, automatic and survival-based. They're inexpensive in terms of the amount of calories they require but make a lot of mistakes. We also have very slow processes based on inhibiting our fast impulses. Slow thinking is only available to us when we feel really, really safe. The moment we're under any stress or threat, we're going to go back into fast processes which are mistake-prone,. me-first, screw everyone else, and constantly just defensive fight-fight.