How to Prevent Self-Criticity

If you learn as a kid that you are going to be attacked all the time, then you're going to pay a lot of attention to possible attacks so you can guard yourself against them. It's a rational response to be defensive when you're being attacked. But now your defensive reactions might lead to your friends or your partner again kind of getting upset with you. Maybe saying that oh, you always take things the wrong way, which of course doesn't make you feel any less defensive.