Ling unlovable? Yes, it's subtle, because you're not. It's not being unlovable, it's feeling unlovable. In chasing after the perfect wedding, what you actually do is damage your relationships. When our mind chases after things that are not grounded in reality, suffering is the result. The next time you feel unlovable, close your eyes and notice the thought and the feelings of being unlovable. You can have all this crack floating around. And then what i want to do is see which of that is real.