Why healing is messy and not aesthetic

Lizandra is a BACP Registered Psychotherapist and Relationship Therapist based in the UK who works with adults healing from childhood trauma and high functioning anxiety.

When most people think about healing, they focus on what they should be doing — journaling, setting boundaries, or practicing self-care. But just as important is what you need to stop doing.

In this episode, I’m breaking down five common habits that can quietly hold you back from feeling secure in yourself and your relationships. These patterns often come from trauma, and you might not even realise how much they’re shaping your everyday life.

We’ll talk about:

• Why you might feel the need to over-explain yourself.
• How constant apologising keeps you stuck in shame.
• The subtle ways people-pleasing turns into self-abandonment.
• What happens when you dismiss your own emotions.
• And the one habit that can make you feel like you’re always “behind” in your healing.

If you’ve ever wondered why you’re working so hard on yourself but still feel stuck, this episode will help you see what needs to shift — and it’s probably not what you expect.

Resources 

Five Steps to Setting Boundaries Free Guide 

Adverse Childhood Experiences Explained: The Link Between Trauma and Your Health [Ep 25]

Here’s why you’re getting stuck in your healing journey [Ep 22]

What to do when you feel Emotionally Overwhelmed [Ep 17]

📱Book your free 15 minute intro call with Lizandra 

Support the show