What To Do If You Find Yourself Triangulating

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other.

In this powerful episode of the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, Drs. Ryan Reyna and James Hawkins dive deep into the critical challenge therapists face when entering couples sessions without a strategic approach. They explore the pitfalls of entering therapy unprepared and provide practical insights for maintaining therapeutic effectiveness. Conversation Outline:

1. The Therapist's Challenge

• Emotional complexity of couples therapy

• Sacrifices therapists make in helping distressed relationships

• Importance of professional preparedness

2. Risks of Entering Sessions Without a Plan

• Potential for therapist triangulation

• Tendency to mediate instead of facilitating healing

• Danger of getting caught in reactive cycles

3. Strategic Therapeutic Approach

• Understanding the couple's emotional "muscle"

• Developing a flexible, adaptive therapeutic plan

• Focusing on attachment patterns rather than surface conflicts

4. Emotional Regulation Strategies

• Preparing therapist's nervous system

• Recognizing and interrupting destructive interaction patterns

• Creating safety through structured intervention

Closing Summary: Your preparedness, empathy, and commitment create a transformative space where healing becomes possible—one vulnerable moment at a time. Remember: In the landscape of human relationships, you are not just a therapist, but a skilled navigator helping couples rediscover their fundamental connection.

Upcoming events, if you would like to train with James or Ryan…

1. You can do a joint Core Skills (Colorado) with Lisa J. Palmer-Olsen & Dr. James Hawkins. Core Skills Modules 1 and 2 will be held October 8-10, 2025, and Core Skills Modules 3 and 4 will be held January 7-9, 2026. You can register at https://courses.efft.org/courses/2025-core-skills-colorado.
2. October 15-18, 2025, you can do an Externship with James in beautiful Bend, Oregon. You can register at https://www.counseloregon.com.
3. You can train with Ryan, as well as George Faller, doing a live and some time with James, at the annual Arkansas EFT Center externship. July 29-August 1, 2025, in person, in Fayetteville, Arkansas. https://www.arkansaseft.com/events/externship
4. We would like to invite everyone to come hang out and learn with the SV team at the first-ever SV Focus Lab. This is an advanced, EFCT training intending to push the edge with a focus on nuance in application, illuminating EFT and Sue’s incredible model.”
5. You can learn more and register by going to https://www.svfocuslab.com. Leading edge listeners who register before July 1 with the code svfocuslab.com/leadingedge get a 10% discount.

To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause.

We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.

 Stay connected with us:

• Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge
• Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website
• James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com
• George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com

If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV).

Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!