How to Deal With Depression

I'm curious about how much Frustration, loathing or anger that do you have towards yourself in all of this stuff? Because you are working one ten hour work weeks and I'm curious if there's a voice inside you that says you should be able to handle this better. There were definitely some points where I'd leave a cast and I was actually really angry because I thought like my mental Fortitude wasn't strong enough to have a good cast Or I thought what the fuck am I doing?