
S3 Ep17 Aging with Selden Dunbar Illick
Elevator Systems - Bowen Family Systems Theory
Emotional Cutoff and Autonomy in Families
Selden outlines Bowen concepts of cutoff, living together with internal cutoff, and emotional autonomy.
Welcome to Elevator Systems! Selden Dunbar Illick joins Dixie Vandersluys and Katie White as they think through aging from a Bowen family systems perspective on today’s episode.
Selden Dunbar Illick has been studying Bowen family systems theory for over 40 years. Selden founded the Princeton Family Center for Education in 1987 and currently serves on the Board. She is particularly interested in the application of Bowen theory to family functioning in the present as it connects to the multigenerational past and to future generations, especially the concept of emotional cutoff between the generations and degrees of unresolved emotional attachment. Today, at the age of 85, Selden continues to be a consultant to those interested in applying a Bowen family systems theory perspective to their lives.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
- Aging is a lifelong process that begins at birth.
- The usefulness of maintaining emotional connections across generations.
- The idea of over and under-functioning and thoughtfully providing and receiving support.
- Emotional cutoff and differentiation as key concepts in intergenerational relationships.
- The importance of lifelong learning and curiosity.
- Examples include: personal and clinical examples of families and aging, historical and cultural examples, and the show “Call the Midwife”
This episode is for anyone who is aging, has aging family members, or works with individual and families facing the challenges and opportunities of aging.
Terms you don’t understand? We have episodes on all 8 concepts of Bowen theory and other ideas in Elevator Systems Seasons 1 & 2.
Recommended Resources:
- The Murray Bowen Archives Project
- Dr. Murray Bowen: Family Therapy in Clinical Practice
- Dr. Murray Bowen: A Systems View of the Aging Process (Family Systems Journal 13.1)
- Dr. Jenny Brown: Growing Yourself Up
- Monica McGoldrick & Betty Carter: The Family Life Cycle
- Death and Chronic Illness in the Family, Ed. Peter Titelman & Sydney K. Reed
- Dr. Bowen & Kathleen Yanks: The Basic Series #7 - Emotional Cutoff
- Living Systems Oct/25 conference Aging: Individual Challenge or Family Opportunity?
New podcast episodes released every Tuesday this season—stay tuned as we explore relationships across the lifespan!
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Living Systems Counselling and Training provides educational material for those interested in learning more about Bowen family systems theory: https://livingsystems.ca
Key Topics:
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DISCLAIMER: This podcast is general information about Bowen family systems theory and is not considered the practice of counselling or therapy. The information presented are the views of the people who say them. Any information used from this podcast is used at your own risk.


