Is There Such a Thing as Good or Bad Borders?

We're so used to setting the table with, you know, the fancy china and the crystal and the silver. And we're in the kitchen eating in the dark over the sink, whatever rubs and crumbs are left over. It's time to give our ourselves a seat at the table,. So i have another question from claudia: Are there such things as good or bad boundaries? I wouldn't necessarily say that there's good or bad. The boundary is more charge neutraland if we look at it relating to what's ok for me - because i don't want to put a judgment on some one else's boundary.