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In this empowering episode of Sex with Emily, Dr. Emily Morse sits down with writer, producer, and self-care advocate Tara Schuster to talk about the journey from self-abandonment to self-worth. Through laughter, honesty, and raw storytelling, they explore emotional healing, sexual empowerment, and the small rituals that create lasting change.
Tara shares her background of emotional neglect and how she hit rock bottom; leading her to build a "re-parenting" plan with daily rituals like writing down wins, lighting candles, and journaling to create inner safety and structure. They discuss how unresolved emotional wounds often show up in the bedroom as self-doubt, people-pleasing, or disconnection from pleasure, and how Tara learned to stop abandoning herself in relationships by asking "Do I actually like this person?" instead of "Do they like me?"
They dive into how pleasure, including sex, isn't frivolous; it's essential to well-being, and how we must unlearn shame and guilt around joy in order to thrive.
Featured Resource:
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Yes/No/Maybe List - A sexual communication tool mentioned by Tara that helped her explore new experiences and communicate openly with a partner about desires and boundaries. This structured approach allows individuals and couples to indicate their interest levels in various sexual activities, facilitating honest conversations about preferences and limits.
Timestamps:
0:00 - Introduction: Setting the Stage for Healing & Self-Worth
3:08 - Tara's Rock Bottom Moment: The Call That Changed Everything (hitting rock bottom at 25 and the decision to save her own life)
7:42 - The Desert Breakdown: When Success Isn't Enough
14:02 - The Spite Method: How Reluctant Healing Actually Works
19:19 - Body Gratitude Revolution: From Shame to Self-Celebration
22:58 - Self-Worth & Sex: Why Healing Yourself Transforms Intimacy
39:15 - Trauma-Informed Solo Practice: Safe Sexual Exploration
49:23 - The Yes/No/Maybe List: Tools for Sexual Communication
