Speaker 2
And our ego likes to make us think that we are in control, but there's so many things that we are not in control of, like you said. And so, like you said, having a little bit of play and fun and surprise, realizing who knows what's going to happen, but I'm open to it.
Speaker 1
I've got a question for you. I know I'm the guest on your show. I've got a question. That's okay. It's one of the things we talked about earlier. How prevalent is the imposter syndrome in the
Speaker 2
coaching world? Well, just in the world. I can relate, I think, in so many areas of life, being myself, being a doctor, going through medical school, medical training, friends, family, no matter what, I have yet to meet anyone in any career path or setting that has not expressed some experience of imposter syndrome. And coaching as well. I think that we all, we all start somewhere, but we tend to look at other people as having the people who maybe have more experience or get better results and to compare ourselves a lot of times and think that we're not as good or we're not good enough or we don't deserve to be in the position that we might be in.
Speaker 1
It first dawned on me, overtly dawned on me in the summer of 2011, that something's going on here with the imposter syndrome. I went to London and stayed there for well, the summer. And I had one person come in for, she was referred, came in for some sessions, and she was in a C-suite level of a consulting company for oil and gas. And we got into some stories and she was like, I was like, what do you want to work on? She was every single day when I walk into the office, I am terrified that I'm going to be found out. And then I'm going to be found out that I'm in comp. She was crushing the game. She was putting up some of the top up to three best numbers year over year in her business. She was people looked at her. She keynoteed, she keynoteed events and regardless of that evidence, which also hasn't been written down, which is another thing we'll talk about here in a second. Okay, how to supercharge your affirmations, folks. I got two of, in my personal professional opinion, I've got the two best pieces of advice, technical advice for you to supercharge your affirmations that you can use with yourself today and with your clients if you work with people in a mindset, in a mindset way.
Speaker 2
We're coming back to
Speaker 1
that later. That sounds powerful. Yeah, for sure. It's a fantastic addition to this conversation. It doubled it piggybacks on what we've already done in the first call or the first podcast. And she was it was crippling her as far as moving her career forward. And guess what? We got those stories written down because they weren't written down. And then when we got into their into the emotions and feelings of the stuff and tracked them down, she was bullied in school. She was bullied in middle school. And that stuff was in there. Time doesn't apply to the emotional body. I just said, I've said that twice. Think about folks. And it was showing up in her adult life. And we went into that bullying and did some other stuff. And then she walked out the door and my phone was started ringing off the hook. I worked with people in the C suite all summer long. And 80, 85% of them had similar stories. Imposter syndrome, imposter syndrome. I shouldn't be. Look at the words. I shouldn't be where I am. But I'm where I am. If we want to get all Byron Katie about it, it's arguing with reality. It's like, you know, I'm not good enough to be in a relationship with my wife. Are you in a relationship with your wife? Yeah, we've been married for 20 years. But she's she's happy. But I've got this thing running in the background and that nobody will ever love me because of something that happened way back then. And so listen, everybody, this the pen. This thing really is a magic wand. Spells the definition of a spell. Not mine. Webster's a word or a combination of words of great influence. That's it. It goes both ways. And then I think back to my flash in the pen fight career, I was a mediocre athlete. And we had a bunch of studs in the gym. And how I won fight title winning record, how I won fights is that I kept showing up for practice. And then there was something in me that responded really well to pressure. So we get in the ring and just something else came alive. Thanks. Thanks. But anyway, I relentlessly compared myself to these other guys. And I never felt like I was good enough as a fighter. Okay. And that haunted me until I got down to the root of the situation, which was also some bullying for me when I was a kid, which is one of the reasons I turned into a fighter in the first place because that's never happened again. Okay, I'm going to go on the offensive now. And so it was this, it was this adult compensation mechanism for some unresolved stories. And I hadn't written those down either. This is my 355th podcast, Julie Fusche that I've gone out talking about words. And this past February, I went down and did the can you survive this podcast with Jeff Gonzalez out of the sheep dog response, he's a former Navy SEAL, cheap dog response and tactical that's Tim Kennedy's organization. And so I go down there and I do that podcast with them. And I talk about the exact same thing that I'm talking about here. And at the end, when we're done, he goes, look at the words, look, the words he goes, yeah, I think there's kind of a lot of that in our community. I think there's kind of, right, a lot of that in our community. And I'm thinking to myself, I was like, not that I needed any, any more evidence, but I was like, that's the final nail in the coffin about imposter syndrome. That can I use a four letter word, that stuff is everywhere. That stuff is everywhere. And it's the C suite, sports, medicine, top tier tier one, special forces units, because we got a glitch in our language, everybody. And it has nothing to do with how skilled someone is, or how smart someone is, or how dedicated they are to their craft. If some of those stories are left unchecked, which is what we help people do with and lift it, then guess what? You're, however far you're going to go in your career, you're going to be dragging that ball and chain around. That's so much fun to take off.
Speaker 2
Right. You reminded me of two examples in my own life. There's many examples, but one that I've shared before, I think on my podcast, but definitely on other podcasts, when I was competing in the CrossFit Games, my first year was 2010. I surprised myself by finishing in fifth place my first year. I definitely felt like an imposter. I remember sitting in the warm up area next to women that I had watched online the year before and was very intimidated by and finished in fifth place. And then the next year, the following year, the thoughts in my head were, what if it was just a fluke? What if I, instead of thinking, I can podium this year, I was thinking, please just don't do worse than I did last year. And I went into the final event in third place, positioned to be on the podium. The event on paper was something I traditionally have been very good at. It was a long chipper, lots of different exercises. But because I had that story in my head and kept repeating it, don't do worse than last year, don't do worse than last year, I completely botched the event and finished the weekend in fifth place, the exact same place that I had finished the year before. When I truly believed if I had changed my story and said, I could win the CrossFit Games, I might have won or I might have finished on the podium. But more than likely it would have been a better outcome overall. And that was a big lesson for me. And something I think my entire career as a CrossFit Games athlete was about learning the power of my mindset and how that had been holding me back. And each year growing and getting a little bit better at that. I remember the next year, or no, I think this was the same year, 2011. I, there was an event where we had to push it was a sled dog event or sled, something with a sled. We'd have to do double unders and push a sled. And the first round, you push it part way across the floor, you go back and do double unders, then you push it two thirds of the way, and then you push the boy. I'm on my last sled push. And I am right next to Annie Thoris-Daughter, who had won the CrossFit Games the year before. And she is behind me. I'm winning the event. I'm on my last sled push. Each, each first, second round, I had pushed the sled the entire distance without stopping no problem. And I'm in the last push, she's behind me. And for some reason, I just stop. I stop and I shake my arms out. And then she passes me. And then I finish right behind her. And as I've gone back to that event and what was going through my head, I had this story and this belief that I couldn't beat Annie Thoris-Daughter. She's the reigning champion. How could I be ahead of her? And that was the subconscious story that I was telling myself. And I believe why I stopped in that workout instead of finishing and winning the event. So these things are very powerful. And like you said, imposter syndrome exists everywhere.
Speaker 1
Look at the words she used to us. Negation, don't finish worse. Don't do worse than last year. Don't do worse than last year. I put a spell on you. No, take out you putting me. I put a spell on me. I'm spelling on me all day long for veteran for worse. Because then it goes both ways, everybody. There are spells of a constrictive nature. Ones that crowd the imagination, create dense heavy energy, excess rigidity in the body and trap the breath. Okay. Remember the stuff we started? She never lets me live my life. That's a story. That's a spell that's going to do that to my imagination, my energy, my body and my breathing. Because it has to two plus two equals four for me and Julie and everybody else. And then, you know, I could win the CrossFit games. That's a different combination of words that put a different picture in my imagination, create a different set of energy.