"I'm going to eat a shit ton of food, Ed. And then I'm going to work out like a donkey," he says about his trip to Alaska in 2005. "And all of a sudden this little ambitious crab that's like starting to hoist itself up, gets pulled down by all the other crabs at the bottom of the bucket." A good Samaritan helps him get rid of an aggressive fighter jet crab crawling on top of several smaller ones as it tries to make its getaway.

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