Don't Tell - It Hurts My Feelings, Is It Hard for Me?

If a conversation is going really well and you want to go deep and it feels safe, then great. But if it all already starts to hit your defenses and you Want to argue back, like I actually don't do that model for us what it would look like. Like I think your very first move should be receptive. So you want to ask more, like tell me more. Have I done that before? How often do I do it? How much does it bother you? Keep them talking. If you can stay in a regulated place, just get it, let them get it all out because what you're doing just by asking questions, that's already reparative.