Why dads slip into autopilot

“If I’m sitting here in ten years thinking this exact same thing, I’ve no one to blame but myself.” -  Steve Cardwell

In this episode of Feel Good — For Men Who Want Change, host Tim Barber sits down with Steve Cardwell, founder of Deliberate Dad, to unpack the moment that forced him off autopilot and into a life of deliberate choice.

From a “Scotch egg” moment to the systems that help fathers reclaim time and presence, Steve shares a practical framework with his Deliberate Operating System, that helps dads set clear standards, simplify routines, and stay intentional through the chaos of parenting.

They discuss what it means to be “deliberately selfish,” why balance is a myth, and how small, repeatable actions can lead to lasting transformation. If you’re a dad juggling work, family, and your own standards, this episode gives you realistic next steps and permission to experiment without guilt.

👉 Subscribe, share, and tag a dad who needs to stop living on autopilot.

Chapters

00:00:00 - Intro & episode overview
00:01:34 - Checking in: life with a 3-year-old and 10-month-old
00:05:11 - The “Scotch Egg” moment: why Steve changed course
00:07:27 - Taking responsibility: hiring a coach & starting experiments
00:11:15 - Default (autopilot) vs Deliberate living — definitions and danger
00:19:53 - “Deliberately selfish”: why self-care helps you show up
00:23:33 - The Deliberate Operating System: clarity, systems, mindset
00:23:54 - Seasons of life: why balance isn’t the answer
00:29:52 - Micro-actions & momentum — simple experiments that compound
00:30:33 - Real talk: everyone’s on autopilot — it’s normal, but fixable
00:37:26 - Work & careers: practical conversations with employers
00:39:49 - Defining standards: a practical example (phone-off at pick-up)
00:44:02 - Action → Evidence → Bigger goals: the six-week approach
00:54:52 - Imperfect solutions are better than no solution (closing message)
00:57:26 - Where to find Steve (Deliberate Dad: website / socials / podcast)
00:58:34 - Host closing & key takeaway

How to find us:

If you’d like to learn more about The Feel Good Folk, head to the website. We offer coaching, content and community that will help you navigate healthy masculinity in today’s world.

🌐 https://www.thefeelgoodfolk.com

Got questions, reflections from the episode, or just want to start a conversation? We’d love to hear from you.

📩 Reach out by email: info@thefeelgoodfolk.com

📱 Follow us on social:

Instagram – https://www.instagram.com/thefeelgoodfolk/

LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-feel-good-folk/

👤 To connect directly with Tim:

https://linkedin.com/in/tim-barber-i-frsa-29632b15

To connect directly with Steve, you’ll find him here:

📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/deliberatedad_/
🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/stevedeliberatedad/  
🌐 Website: https://deliberate.dad/