If you cannot imagine looking at a mirror and seeing anything there that you would like, here's what i want you to do instead. I want you to visualize that door, that door that stands between you and your authentic sexual well being. Here's a thing about the door, it's not innate. It was constructed in your brain by your life experience and by your culture. You may work to ange the culture that built that door, but never turn toward the door itself with hate. Because the door is part of you two and it is not random. It's there to do some work. That door is there trying to protect you from social isolation and judgment.
Sex is such a big part of being human. It's how our species persists, but it's also so much more than that. So why do we feel so uncomfortable talking about it? Emily Nagoski is a sex educator who argues that learning how to talk openly about sex — and unlearning some damaging misconceptions— can give you access to a more authentic and fulfilling sex life. She has a Ph.D. in health behavior, clinical internship experience at the Kinsey Institue, and is the author of the best-selling book “Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science that Will Transform Your Sex Life.” To learn more about "How to Be a Better Human," host Chris Duffy, or find footnotes and additional resources, please visit: go.ted.com/betterhuman