The Art of Courageous Listening and Connection

On this episode of Christopher Lochhead: Follow Your Different, we engage with psychologists Dr. Christian van Nieuwerburgh and Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener to explore the concept of radical listening.

We discuss why effective listening is challenging in today’s fast-paced, technology-driven world and identify cultural and emotional barriers that hinder genuine communication. We’ll also highlight how radical listening can transform personal and professional relationships by making others feel seen, valued, and heard through active curiosity and empathy.

This episode serves as a call to action for listeners to cultivate deeper connections through intentional and empathetic listening practices.

You’re listening to Christopher Lochhead: Follow Your Different. We are the real dialogue podcast for people with a different mind. So get your mind in a different place, and hey ho, let’s go.

Introduction to Radical Listening

Christopher sets the stage by introducing his esteemed guests, Dr. Christian van Nieuwerburgh and Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener. He poses them a critical question: why do so many people struggle with listening effectively? This question serves as the foundation for a deep dive into the nuances of listening and its impact on human connection.

Dr. van Nieuwerburgh begins by highlighting a paradox: despite being born with the ability to hear, many individuals fail to listen well. He attributes this to several factors: our current fast-paced modern lifestyles, technological distractions, and each person’s internal emotional barriers.

Dr. Biswas-Diener adds that cultural dynamics play a significant role in shaping our listening habits. In Western societies, individualism often leads to conversations becoming competitions for airtime. People frequently listen with the intent to respond rather than to understand, resulting in superficial interactions. This “waiting to talk” mentality is a significant barrier to genuine listening.

The Importance of Curiosity

Chistopher shares his personal journey of self-discovery, emphasizing the importance of personal development in improving listening skills. He recalls a coach who taught him that what many people call listening is often just waiting for their turn to speak. This insight underscores the need for a shift in mindset.

Dr. van Nieuwerburgh agrees and adds that a key aspect of radical listening is approaching conversations with curiosity. When individuals genuinely seek to understand others, they create a space for deeper connection. This involves asking them open-ended questions, avoiding assumptions, and practicing patience and letting the other person finish their thoughts without interruption.

Cultural Influences on Listening

The conversation shifts to the impact of technology and social media on listening habits. Christopher points out that many platforms prioritize self-promotion and broadcasting over genuine interaction. This environment fosters a culture of “me first,” where individuals are more concerned with sharing their own experiences than engaging with others.

Christopher also reflects on the teachings of Stephen Covey, who emphasized the importance of seeking first to understand before being understood. He contrasts this with the current trend of self-centered communication, where individuals prioritize their own narratives over listening to others. Dr. Biswas-Diener acknowledges this shift and highlights the need for a rebranding of listening practices to emphasize connection rather than mere comprehension.

To hear more from Dr. Christian van Nieuwerburgh & Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener and how Listening can be a superpower in everyday life, download and listen to this episode.

Bio

​Dr. Christian van Nieuwerburgh

Dr. Christian van Nieuwerburgh is a distinguished executive coach, academic, and consultant, renowned for his contributions to coaching and positive psychology. He currently serves as Professor of Coaching and Positive Psychology at the Centre for Positive Health Sciences at RCSI University of Medicine and Health Sciences in Ireland and is a Principal Fellow at the Centre for Wellbeing Science at the University of Melbourne. Additionally, he holds the position of Consulting Professor, supporting Growth Coaching International and the Instructional Coaching Group. ​

Dr. van Nieuwerburgh has authored and edited numerous influential works in the field, including “An Introduction to Coaching Skills: A Practical Guide” and “Coaching in Education: Getting Better Results for Students, Educators and Parents.” His research interests encompass intercultural coaching, the creation of coaching cultures, and the integration of coaching within educational settings. He is also the editor-in-chief of “Coaching: An International Journal of Theory, Research and Practice.”

Passionate about fostering positive learning environments, Dr. van Nieuwerburgh collaborates with educational institutions worldwide to implement coaching initiatives. His work emphasizes the transformative power of coaching in education, aiming to enhance outcomes for students, educators, and parents alike. ​

Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener

​Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener is a psychologist, researcher, and author renowned for his work in positive psychology. Dubbed the “Indiana Jones of Positive Psychology,” he has conducted research on happiness and well-being among diverse groups, including the Amish, Inuit, and Maasai. ​

He has authored over 75 peer-reviewed articles and multiple books, such as “Positive Provocation” (2023) and “The Upside of Your Dark Side” (2014). His research focuses on topics like happiness, strengths, and leadership.

As an executive coach and trainer, Dr. Biswas-Diener has worked with organizations worldwide, including Deloitte and the Australia Department of Defense. In 2024, Thinkers50 recognized him as one of the 50 most influential executive coaches globally. ​

Links

Connect with Dr. Christian van Nieuwerburgh & Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener!

Dr. Robert Biswas-Diener
LinkedIn | Website

Dr. Christian van Nieuwerburgh
LinkedIn | X (formerly Twitter)

We hope you enjoyed this episode of Christopher Lochhead: Follow Your Different™! Christopher loves hearing from his listeners. Feel free to email him, connect on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and subscribe on iTunes!