A comparison can turn a success into a failure by comparing it to someone else. Upward comparisons were designed to help us develop an emotional coping strategy That helps us in the short term But as these comparisons get out of control they decrease our motivation and make us feel stuck. If we want to disarm this we have to understand why our mind thinks that this is an appropriate comparison. As we tunnel down as we're critical of why our mind chooses this person, something cool will happen. We'll actually stop to make the compared.