I'm sure it was a gift, but it's interesting to think of the sabbatical as a hospital visit. Not just a vacation because I've never done the year long sabbatical. But I imagine it as a very boring vacation that I would eventually have to fill up with something meaningful and significant, but a hospital visit. Like what did you, what did you learn about that?

Well, some of that goes back to I've done two sabbaticals now, one, you know, about eight, nine years ago that was three months long. And then this last one, which is kind of, I called it a year long sabbatical. It was only about five months off, five or six months off work. And then the other five or six months I was working, but all kind of offline. So writing and prepping a new nonprofit that we started. So nothing, no preaching or teaching, nothing on stages or with microphones. But it's kind of a year offline. And before my first sabbatical in listening prayer, I'd ask the spirit of Jesus for, in image, you know, we kind of all live from metaphors. So I kind of asked him for a metaphor to frame my sabbatical. And the picture that came to mind was of this old World War II movie. I don't even remember what it was called that I used to watch with my dad. It was a black and white, you know, likely from the 50s or early 60s. And in it, there's this flyer in the South Pacific American pilot who shot down and wounded and he's sent back to a hospital on Hawaii. And he's in this hospital and he's sick and he's in bed, but he's like flirting with the nurse. And she, you know, wheels him outside in the, in the wheelchair and it's gorgeous outside. And the palm trees are swaying and he's throwing up because he can't hold down his food and he can't walk. And he's in traction. And it was, that was the image that I felt like God said, this is what sabbatical is for you. And we were in Hawaii actually for a bunch of it. And it really felt exactly like that. This mix of like, I'm in paradise and this is like an extended vacation. And like I'm wounded and in deep need of healing and traction and rehabilitation. So this last one was that, but to the nth degree, even more so. And it was not just sitting around. We did some fun stuff. We did some traveling. We spent a month in Africa. But I did, you know, a 21 day guided solitude retreat with a clinical psychologist. That was one of the most difficult things I've ever done in my life. And a number of things like that that were just trying to kind of make space, you know, in ministry, you just, you accrue wounds. And that's, that's part of the job. That's not like, that's not a sign that something has gone wrong. It's a sign that like something has gone right. Like it's the Holy wound of, and if I'm, that's why I'm reading Paul wrong. Paul very much has like a theology of leadership as vicarious suffering. Not in the atonement sense, but you are allowing intentionally hurt persecution in his case, violence in his case, wounding into your life to allow blessing and life and, truth to come through your life to the people that you serve. So it's inevitable that like you just end up like pretty beat up after a while. And so finding a space to attend to those wounds and to let them become Holy wounds, whether that's through sabbatical or therapy or some other, you know, medium is absolutely essential. Otherwise we begin to minister not like from those wounds, but from like unhealed wounds, which is where so much of the dysfunctional leadership stuff comes from, you know? Yeah.