Speaker 1
You know, as I'm sure you know, and listeners who have listened to other podcasts, who's here is no like trauma work, somatics. It can be, it can be both like a slow process and then all of a sudden like, oh, yeah, something shifted. Yeah, I feel like that's really common where it's like, it feels really slow and then you kind of hit like a point where everything kind of starts to like, really, really impact and things kind of almost like pick up speed, like I think of like a snowball metaphor where it's like, oh my gosh, okay, now we're like, we're really, really making changes, but it can be like a slow buildup. And with the, the peer acronym that you just described, I also think that sounds so much like re-parenting, right? Yeah. And I think that's where our child work, because that is very much like what children need from securely attached adults when they are dysregulated, is that like investigation and that responsiveness and attunement. So I love that. And I love that premise of like creating internal secure attachment because I think as adults, we really need both like we need, we need the secure attachment with others and like a very real community connection way. then we also need that like secure internal environment where we can like reparent and attune to ourselves. Absolutely. You know, I'm sure you've heard people sort of interrogate, you know, we have this common saying in our culture, I feel like of, you know, you can't love your, you can't love anybody until you love yourself, right? But in reality, like sometimes like we need other people to love us to learn that. And at the same time, like when you start to feel a greater sense of like self trust and self love with yourself, it's like mind blowing, you know, it's like a whole, you're the world just like opens up. Yes. Yeah. So much. Yeah. I was curious also about specifically how rejection, sensitivity, dysphoria, uniquely impacts the people with in between identities and how you see social anxiety showing up for those populations. Yeah. You know, it's like, I think death by a thousand paper cuts, right? Like there are so many small instances very early on in many mixed race kids lives of like subtle experiences or and large experiences of rejection or misunderstanding even. You know, maybe mom doesn't know how to do your hair or maybe you go to a sleepover and like, you know, people are like, oh, like you wear a bonnet at night, right? It can be that it could be going to the store with your parents and like somebody thinks like your mom is the nanny or that you and your mom are friends if you're adults, you know. There's like all these like small subtle ways that we get the message that like there's something different about us. And unless that difference is like explicitly sort of like, Oh, like celebrated, I think like, you know, as little kids and even like our parts who are little kids, like, they just internalize things and they just feel like, Oh, like there must be something wrong with me.