The spark has become my nemesis because it's this all encompassing word that means instant fireworks, instant chemistry, love at first sight. And people are so focused on having this sparky moment that they actually miss a lot about what long term real messy love is all about. So I have these three myths of the spark that I like to bust for people. The first myth of the spark is that if you don't have it, it can never grow. That's absolutely not true. A lot of unhappily married couples, divorce couples, et cetera, once had the spark. It's enough to get you into the relationship, but not enough to have you keep it

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