i noticed a shut down in my body with am commitment. It was like anything that felt like this is going to take me away from loving the world. There's a vulnerable piece of me that is so buried in the darkness that one actually wants to be fully held by somebody. And i wrote a poem, i'm going to release it soon, about the sailor, and how the sailor of my body loves the sea. I don't want to trade am the empire world to be one man's queen. Yes, i think that's a ana b.
One of my best podcasts of all time, this emotional conversation that’s been 16 years in the making, is with my wife Vylana Marcus and former fiance / best friend Caitlyn Howe. We sit down with a bottle of whiskey and let it all out. We each take turns sharing our darkest hours and deepest shadows, with a lot of tears and a lot of laughs. We discuss my devastating 6 days in a darkness retreat, my ongoing relationship with self-love, the impetus of my name change from Chris to Aubrey Marcus, and the erotic aspect of harming oneself, to name a few themes. But perhaps most powerfully, Vylana and Caitlyn share their own shocking and emotional challenges in their relationship to the masculine.