5min chapter

Judge John Hodgman cover image

No Legume to Stand On

Judge John Hodgman

CHAPTER

The True Fair Play in the Traumatization of Emily

"I almost drowned in the pool because she jumped on my back and wouldn't get it. I just followed you around and like screamed probably," Emily says. "My ideal outcome in this situation is that I can still send her stuff about Mr. Peanut without preamble," Judge John Hodgman adds. 'Like I'm going to go into my own creepy basement full of costumes,' Jess responds as judge exits courtroom.

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