Establishing Common Ground: Extemporaneous, Temporal, Vicarious

Our guest is former FBI Special Agent, author, and professor – Dr. Jack Schafer. In the past, Dr. Schafer has developed spy recruitment techniques, interviewed terrorists, and trained agents in the art of interrogation and persuasion. Today, he shares strategies, techniques, and tools you can employ to get people to like you for a minute or a lifetime.

CHEAT SHEET

• What is the friendship formula and how does it increase other people’s ability to like you?
• What are three “friend signals” you can practice to project likeability?
• What signals can you look for to know whether or not good rapport has been established?
• What is a “curiosity hook,” and how can you use it to attract others with common interests?
• If the golden rule of friendship is to make people feel good about themselves, how do you go about doing that?
• How do you use empathic statements to listen more, talk less, and still gain interest in the conversation?
• Why learning the C.A.R.E acronym is important to ensure you are maintaining focus on others – and not yourself.

This episode is full of tools for becoming a more likable person, and it’s important to remember the words of Dr. Schafer when applying them in our daily lives:

“No one tool works for all circumstances, but for all circumstances, there is a tool that works. And it’s the time and circumstance that determine what tool to use.”

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Resources

• The Like Switch by Dr. Jack Schafer
• Dr. Schafer’s Blog in Psychology Today

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